


Travel Broadens the Wardrobe

by aces



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, TARDIS Wardrobe Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-17
Updated: 2010-07-17
Packaged: 2020-10-05 18:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20493044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces/pseuds/aces
Summary: For a fic bingo hosted by the_tenzo on LJ, from the cardhere; I used Romana, wardrobe room, crack!fic, Amy Pond, and Omega.  (Okay, the Omega bits are probably stretching, but it’s CLOSE ENOUGH for crack!fic.)





	Travel Broadens the Wardrobe

**Author's Note:**

> For a fic bingo hosted by the_tenzo on LJ, from the card [here](https://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=0AvyN5fGITSBfdFF6RWNXb3BxTVhjYUY4TVN2NUVfYWc&hl=en_GB&output=html); I used Romana, wardrobe room, crack!fic, Amy Pond, and Omega. (Okay, the Omega bits are probably stretching, but it’s CLOSE ENOUGH for crack!fic.)

“Let me get this straight,” Amy said, hands on her hips, staring at the small blonde woman admiring herself in the full-length mirror. “You’re another Time Lord."

“Or Lady,” Romana said, turning around and twisting her neck to an uncomfortable degree in order to see the view from the back. “But let’s not quibble over minor details.”

“I thought,” Amy told the other woman critically, “that the Doctor said he was the last of his kind.”

“Did he?” The Time Lady Romana did not in the least sound interested in what the Doctor had said, or in the conversation at all for that matter. “He’s always making dramatic statements like that about himself in relation to the rest of us. ‘So much more than a Time Lord,’ ‘the last of my race,’ it’s all the same to him.”

“…why are you here again?”

Romana blinked. “I’m not entirely sure, exactly,” she admitted at last and pulled off the tan jacket she’d been trying out. “It almost certainly has something to do with the Hand of Omega.”

“And what’s the Hand of Omega when it’s at home?” Amy asked.

“Stellar manipulator,” Romana said, looking through the racks of clothes near the mirror. It was the best mirror in the TARDIS; Amy approved of anybody who immediately gravitated toward it, even if they appeared out of nowhere and claimed they’d known the Doctor for hundreds of years and demanded to be shown to the wardrobe room immediately. “It’s a matter of life or death” may even have been uttered.

Amy broke down the phrase Romana had used. “Meaning it manipulates stars?”

“Quite right.” Romana slid a black tuxedo jacket off a hanger.

“Not with that skirt,” Amy immediately objected.

“Hmm.” Romana looked down at her flowery, flowing skirt with a frown. “Perhaps you’re right.” She looked up at Amy and directly met her eye. Amy straightened unconsciously in response, smoothed down her own knee-length skirt. “The question is, should I get rid of the skirt or the jacket?”

Amy considered her from the top of her head to the tips of her rather fetching suede boots. “Jacket,” she said at last, a trifle regretfully. She was sure Romana would look smashing in the tux, but the boots were too perfect to pass up.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” Romana sounded a trifle regretful herself as she slipped the jacket back onto the rack. “Black really is not my color. Perhaps if it had come in red…”

“Wait,” Amy said, “it manipulates _stars_? As in—stars?”

“Not the tux, dear,” Romana said, digging through the rest of the rack that held the tuxedo. “But yes, the Hand of Omega does.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

“All sorts of reasons.” Romana sifted quickly in disdain through another set of clothes full of sequins and lamé and multi-colored coats. “Many of them even useful.”

“As opposed to?”

“Merely for fun.” Romana peered around another rack that appeared to consist entirely of things in a shade of purple, and grinned. Charmingly, but Amy was not easily fooled. She’d traveled with the Doctor for a while now, after all.

“So were you using this Hand of Omega for something useful or merely fun?” Amy asked, wandering to the clothing on the other side of the mirror. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to help Romana or merely looking for something she could wear herself, but it did make her feel productive. And looking for clothes in the Doctor’s wardrobe area was always fun.

“Useful, in this case,” Romana called, mired deep in heavy winter coats now. “Perhaps too useful, if it sent me to the Doctor’s TARDIS. It could have been worse,” she added after a moment.

“Oh yeah? How so?” Amy held a shell-pink bikini top up to herself and shuddered, quickly dropping it.

“It could have sent me to the Doctor’s TARDIS and missed.”

Amy blinked.

“Ah-ha!” Romana emerged victorious, carrying a waist-length suede jacket the exact same shade as her boots. She had also found a silk scarf somewhere and knotted it jauntily around her neck.

“Ah-ha,” Amy agreed. Romana slid the jacket on and admired the ensemble in the mirror. She sighed in contentment. “I always did like the Doctor’s wardrobe room the best,” she said.

“Oh really.” Amy wandered up next to her and looked at them side by side. Her own boots looked pretty fabulous, at least. She really needed to change her nail varnish, though; it was starting to get chipped. “And why’s that?”

“Best selection,” Romana said as if it were obvious, and maybe it would be to a Time Lord or Lady. “Travel not only broadens the mind, it also broadens the clothing options.” She turned to face Amy, and Amy dutifully turned to face her. “Well, it was quite lovely to meet you, Amy Pond, and I’m sure you’re doing your very best to keep the Doctor from killing himself out of the goodness of his own heart, but I think I ought to be going now.”

Amy folded her arms. “I thought you said this experiment of yours with the Hand of Omega was for something useful, not ‘merely fun.’”

“And you don’t think finding the perfect jacket isn’t useful?” Romana tutted. “Sometimes, Amelia, diplomacy relies on the tiniest of details. Don’t forget that.”

Amy blinked. When she opened her eyes, the other woman was gone.

“Huh,” Amy said.

“Amy! Amy, my dear girl, where have you been hiding yourself? The TARDIS absolutely refuses to land without you being present,” the Doctor said ten minutes later when Amy wandered into the console room.

“Doctor,” Amy said, “I thought you said that normally nobody could get into the TARDIS unless you let them.”

“Yes,” the Doctor nodded, “very true.” He gave the console a fond pat.

“I think you’ve got your sums wrong,” Amy said. “Though I do like your friends. I think.”

When the Doctor asked her what the devil she meant by that, she changed the subject by asking if they couldn’t go to a shopping outlet planet.

“Travel broadens the mind, or so I’ve heard,” she added, with a sunny smile.


End file.
